Ipso Facto
by FaithinBones
Summary: His heart breaking for her, Booth couldn't let her continue to dream whatever it was she was dreaming.
Dgschneider read my story 'Bones Bits' chapter 31 and requested that I write something to expand upon the theme of that short story. Here is what I came up with.

This story takes place in the future.

I don't own Bones.

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"Ipso Facto Colombo Oreo."

She was talking in her sleep again and he debated whether or not to wake her up.

A tear sliding down her cheek, she murmured. "No, I'm find alone . . . I'm sad."

His heart breaking for her, Booth couldn't let her continue to dream whatever it was she was dreaming. "Bones." He shifted on the bed, leaned over her and placed his hand on her shoulder. "Bones wake up . . . Bones!"

Startled from her dream, Brennan opened her eyes and stared up at her husband. "What . . . why did you wake me up?"

Moving his hand down her arm, he clasped her hand. "You were dreaming and . . . and you were sad. You said you were sad."

The tears she'd shed while she was dreaming were drying in the corners of her eyes, so she knew she'd been crying. "I . . . it was just a dream Booth. It's alright."

"Ipso Facto Columbo Oreo . . . you told me not too long ago that someone told you that when you were a little lost and you thought you were going to always be alone." He wanted to help her, but he knew she could be stubborn about talking about her past. "If you want to talk about it, I'm here for you Bones."

The look of sadness on his face caused her to think about his times of sadness as well as hers. "I don't want to make you sad, Booth. It was a long time ago and it's not that important."

He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it. "Bones . . . I know you hate psychology, but even you have to admit that if you dream about something a lot then it is important. If you want to talk about it then it's okay. It doesn't matter how sad it makes me, okay? . . . I want to be here for you."

As she reached up and placed her hand on his face, Brennan smiled. "Alright, if you wish to hear it . . . perhaps we can go in to the kitchen and get a light snack."

Relieved that she was willing to talk about it, Booth released her hand and moved off of the bed. After he placed his slippers on, he moved over to the doorway and waited for Brennan to join him. As they moved down the hallway, he placed his hand on her lower back. "We still have some leftover pie and some of that chocolate mousse that you like."

"Booth, I said a light snack." Moving into the kitchen she removed an apple from the basket on the counter.

Not taking her advice at all, Booth removed the last pie wedge from the fridge. "Yeah, well your idea of a snack and my idea of a snack are not even close." Snagging a fork from the flatware drawer he carried it and the pie over to the counter and sat down.

After she was settled on the chair next to him, Brennan debated how to start this conversation. After a few seconds of thought, she cleared her throat. "You know I have few friends."

His attention diverted from his pie to his wife, Booth decided to listen to what she had to say and try not to interrupt.

"I had a difficult time during the Lauren Eames case." That was an understatement if there ever was one. "I saw myself in Lauren Eams . . . isolated by choice . . . no friends . . ."

Well so much for that idea. Booth couldn't let that go. "Bones you definitely had friends."

Shrugging her shoulders, Brennan stared at her apple. "It felt like I had no friends at the time . . . it wasn't really anything anyone said or did to make me feel that way, it was just . . . I have made choices in my life that isolated me. Yes . . . I had friends, but my friends were busy living their lives and I was alone . . . I chose to be alone because I was afraid to do anything else . . . I was afraid to allow myself to become attached too closely to anyone because it would risk being abandoned and hurt . . . and I came to the conclusion that in the end I didn't matter to anyone."

Shocked, Booth placed his fork down and moved the pie away from him. "Bones, you always mattered to me and to Angela and Hodgins . . . Always. No matter what was going on in my life, in their lives you mattered."

Uncomfortable, Brennan rolled the apple on the counter in front of her. Her eyes on the glistening dark green skin, she sighed. "I'm not explaining myself very well and I'm upsetting you. I think it would be better if we didn't talk about the past."

"No Bones, no." He was afraid that she couldn't see that she had been loved and that worried him. "Bones we went through some rough times. We made some decisions . . . we did things that in hindsight weren't the best things we could have done, but it was who we were at the time. You've told me plenty of times that change is inevitable that if there isn't any change then you have stagnation . . . no . . . uh, entropy . . . um, well anyway, who we were then is not who we are now."

He knew she wanted him to let it go, but he couldn't. "We used to be pretty messed up people. We were afraid . . . not just you, but me too. I don't mean . . . you know physically afraid, that's not what I'm talking about. I mean we were afraid of taking risks of the heart. Not just you, me too. You had a shitty childhood and so did I. We . . . we became such good friends that we were scared shitless that something was going to happen to destroy that friendship, so we built walls around our hearts . . . our feelings. We didn't want to risk losing each other so . . . so we made piss poor decisions that almost destroyed what we had together, but even when we were holding each other at arm's length you mattered Bones. Besides Parker and Pops, no one mattered more to me than you."

The last thing she meant to do was upset him, but the more he talked the more upset he was becoming. She didn't want him to feel like that time in their lives was his fault. "Booth, how I felt about my situation wasn't your fault. It wasn't really anyone's fault. I . . . at the time you were in a relationship with Hannah . . . when we came back to D.C. I know you struggled with our friendship. I may not understand most people, but I've been your partner and friend for a long time and I knew you were keeping your distance. I don't know if you were afraid of me or just afraid we would shatter the friendship we had and you were preparing yourself . . . but then things seemed to get better over time. We weren't like we were before you asked me to take a chance, but we seemed to be getting along better and then we found Lauren Eames body and the more we discovered about her life the more I saw of my own life."

She wanted to be truthful and she wanted to him to understand. "I've had many physical relationships, Booth. I never wanted any of my attachments to mean more than sexual gratification. I'm not a very loving person nor am I lovable and I never wanted to risk becoming attached to someone and then watch them walk away from me when they grew tired of me."

"Bones." He tried so hard to let her talk, but he just had to interrupt her. "You are not unlovable. You have . . . um, you can be blunt and people don't understand that you're just being honest because you hate to lie, but you have a big heart and . . ."

"Booth." She knew he loved her and he wanted to defend her, but it wasn't necessary. "I know who I am . . . please let me explain. Clearly I'm doing a poor job . . . I never realized just how alone I was until we had the Lauren Eames case. My life turned upside down when I realized that her life choices had been my life choices. I was the one who chose to be alone. I was the one who expected to be alone forever. I was too afraid to risk anything else and then I had my epiphany . . . by choosing to be alone, I risked feeling nothing at all. No pain, not heartache, no love, no joy . . . I realized that . . . a life not lived is not a life lived Booth. Life is risk, it has to be. Lauren Eames had nothing to lose, so she lost everything including her life . . . I have a friend, Micah, he works at the Jeffersonian. I've mentioned him to you . . . He goes to a lot of lectures and he told me that he had learned that there's no such thing as objectivity . . . that we're all just interpreting signals from the universe and trying to make sense of them. At first I didn't know what that meant, but after I found out what destroyed Lauren Eames' life, I knew and . . . I listened to the universe and I felt something and it was sadness, but I felt something Booth and it was so much better than feeling dead inside. I knew that . . . I knew that if I ever got a second chance to be with you, I'd take it. I'd take that risk . . . all I had to do was wait and see if you would have your own epiphany. If you didn't then I still had your friendship and that was so very important to me. It was probably the most important thing I valued."

He wasn't sure how or what to say. His feeling were all jumbled up inside of him and he was afraid he might cry before this was over. "Bones . . . that time with Hannah . . . I don't know if you're going to understand what I'm saying but . . . when I was with Hannah, I . . . she was my last chance at happiness or I thought so. I've never been able to figure out what was wrong with me, but there has always been this thing I do and whatever it is, I make women reject what I have to give . . . I was never sure what that thing was and when I was with Hannah I tried to be what she wanted me to be because I knew she could never love who I really was. I knew I would do that thing and that would be it. I pretended to be someone I wasn't and I pretended with you too. I pretended that just being your friend was all I needed and that what I wanted didn't matter and it did. What I wanted mattered and I couldn't have it and I made the worse and the best decision I ever made when I asked Hannah to marry me . . . Yeah, she turned me down because I wasn't what she wanted and I was so damn angry and yet when she turned me down it let me move on and I mean really move on . . . I was in a place I hadn't been before. When I'd been rejected in the past, I accepted it, but when Hannah turned me down, I didn't. My world turned upside down and like you I wasn't listening to what the universe was trying to tell me and you know what?"

Barely moving, Brennan breathed, "What?"

"It was telling me that I needed to be with you." He knew he was screwing up his explanation, but that time in his life was just as messed up for him as it was for her. They were so alike it was uncanny. "It didn't matter if we were in a physical relationship or not, because we'd been in a loving relationship for a long time and that was the important thing that mattered. You and me are best friends. We love each other and we have for a really long time. I needed you to be in my life and you needed me to be in your life because that's what we are. We're friends and we're friends for life . . . this thing we have now, this life we have together is just the result of us losing each other for a little bit and realizing that we can't let that happen again. We're together because the universe wants us to be together." Suddenly he laughed. "It's weird, but think about it. We both did some stupid things, made some shitty decisions, pushed each other away and yet here we are." He turned to face her, his hands on her upper arms. "The universe insisted that we belonged together and it wasn't taking no for an answer."

She knew he was using her words to explain what he felt and somehow it seemed right. The universe really did want them to be together. They complemented each other. They always had. He could use her words and by doing that, she understood him and she knew that was why they would always be together. When most people talked to her she had to fight to understand them or what they said was just blah blah blah, but Booth, he tried to make her understand. He loved her and he tried to communicate with her in a way that she understood and really that was what she'd always loved about him. When no one else bothered to try to reach her, he did. "I love you Booth. Ipso facto columbo oreo, I love you."

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I hope you liked it. Let me know what you think of my story. I appreciate it.


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